me: *breaks down crying in the privacy of my own home*
my brain: you’re faking your emotions for attention. you’re just doing this because you think it makes for a cool personal narrative
(via joshpeck)
I used to get mad when men would make jokes about how women’s periods make them irrational, but now I just remember that during Victorian times, a table’s legs were thought to arouse men so they invented table cloths to cover them up so men wouldn’t get erections during dinner
I might cry for no reason but at least I’ve never gotten a BONER for a fucking TABLE
(via unescapable)
SHUT THE FUCK UP
I’m girlfriend
THIS IS A FUCKIN HEIST MOVIE MY GOOODDD
this deserves an oscar
(via unescapable)
me: oh my god please let me concentrate for once
my shit brain: Ra Ra Rasputin. Russia’s Greatest Love Machine.
(via unescapable)
(via unescapable)
(via confirmance)
(via humorstaff)
if your boyfriend is your best friend, you’re doing it right.
if your boyfriend is your only friend, you’re doing it wrong.
THANK. YOU.
(via unescapable)
(via wreckedteens)